We are quick to refer to “falling in love” as if love is an electric phenomenon that might carry us away with neither warning nor control. It sounds so exciting, free-falling, but the truth is, what falls risks breaking. To fall, by its very nature, is to be unstable and ephemeral. When you “fall” in love, you are caught up in an intoxication of feelings and emotions that may blind you to yourself and your needs. And when the initial intoxication passes, as eventually, it does – many are left feeling shattered, trying to pick up the pieces of something which broke because it never had the strength to stand. Instead, let’s think of love as something we grow into.

To grow in love is a conscious choosing, steadily. To be swept off one’s feet with waves of passion is not it, but to put roots, attend to something worthwhile over time. Growth doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, patience, care, and the willingness to nurture what is built on mutual respect and understanding. When you grow in love, you build something that can go through ups and downs-what doesn’t easily break because it is on solid ground and resilient. Growing in love involves the determination to see the other person fully, to see them not just as a beautiful ideal of what you think they are but as a real, raw, imperfect human person, day in and day out.

It is easy to fall for one’s charms, good looks, and potentials. But it is very much a greater commitment to grow with someone, to know their flaws and yet choose to stand by them. To grow in love, it means looking beyond the fairy tale and embracing this reality that is love, in all its highs and lows and everything in between. Such love doesn’t easily break because it’s based on truth and not illusion. The more you grow in love, the more you can build a lasting partnership.

Falling is passive; you cannot really control what happens afterwards. But with growth, you are taking part in an active way in forming love that can overcome any obstacle. Growing in love means making an effort to communicate, understand, support, and be there for each other even if times get worse. Love that grows doesn’t break with pressure; instead, it’s empowered from that struggle, coming out even stronger and connected. Growth together means a way of evolving.

To be continued…